White Sheep on a Blue Hill

"I do not want life to imitate art. I want life to be art." - deliverance of ideas

12:44 PM

Damn it! Fuck it! What's the hell wrong is today? Why is she so cranky and begin a fuck up person? You always fuck me upside down when you're not happy. So what if I'm the eldest? SO WHAT?!

I know I hack care Alson. BUT my care and concern is still in my heart. I've been thinking how am I able to give him my helping hand. I try to interact with him and yes, I managed! But you didn't!

I plan to spent more time with him after this week.
I plan to teach him photography.
I plan to teach him create flash game.
I plan to get him a course that he's interested.
I plan to bring him to explore the night life.
I plan, I plan, I plan and I've already plan!
I know this' all just planning BUT I'm gonna do it after this week.

In fact, you push all the blame on me. WTF?! You was too over at that fucking moment.
You gonna throw away both my PC and Macbook, hard disk and whatever shit. If you think by throwing these items away will make you happy, go ahead. I'll quite school. I'll stop begin a designer. My future will just vanish. Or maybe I can just go die.

So what if I work part time at bar? So what if I got my pay? I've been accepting and looking for part time jobs here and there JUST BECAUSE i don't wanna spent your money anymore. I'm trying to stop my habit by taking cab and I'll try to go less partying. I had enough of you saying I'm your burden.

You know begin a designer or going in to design industry, they gotta spent their time facing computers and burn night oil. I tried to finish my work fast and I tried to off lights early. I had never tell you that I had sleeping problem. I don't want you to know because you already said I'm a burden to you. FUCK!! I always keep things in my heart.


I give my best not to fight back. I try not to cry. I try to swallow hard down my throat. But I just can't. Ended up I'm here letting all out...

Labels: shitty fuck