White Sheep on a Blue Hill

"I do not want life to imitate art. I want life to be art." - deliverance of ideas

6:28 AM this is ridiculars and sickening! my mom ask me to take MC for two days which is on monday and tuesday. i thought there will be like family gathering or something else. in fact, she even ask me to leave honeywell. the first thing that came to my mind was... tangy. dull to their relationship problems, it affected me. ever since the first day i worked, i always worried about their relationship problems and i knew it! this will happen one day: "i want you to quite your job!" how i wish i could talk or persuade or even beg my mom. I CAN'T! am assure that she will say this: "am your mom! you rather side outsiders than the family members!? don't know why i have such a daughter!" and blah blah blah, bullshits! craps! lameshit! readers who laughts at my family situation can SCRRAAMM!!! the most come to worst, i don't obey what my mom's say or plans. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! god please help me!

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she asked me when we were having dinner like 10 mins ago.

mom: "tomorrow how? go work isit?" you better take MC for two days!"

me: "then my friend how?!"

mom: [stared at me] "he never pick you all already right!?"

me: "no. he got meeting and need to go over to the site. anyway, got free bus pick us up."

mom: "he always not in the office isit?"

me: "yahs. office seldom have people around."

mom: [talk craps regarding about him]

me: "iya, you all adult quarrel, you all problem ah. everytime make thing dfficulty for me for what!"

mom: [screammmm at me] "you will understand when you are older!!!"

me: "i understand! but i don't see the reasons why you got to lie to me! and when i have my own family, i won't make things difficulty for my child, like you!"

mom: "now i know who am i in my heart!"

me: "AS IF you could understand me and my feelings when you always make things difficulty
for me!" wants me to take off, might as well quite! [hold back tears and walk off]

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i don't feel good. am not angry at my mom or whatsoever. it's my wrong to scream shout scold at her face. if you see the conversation (above) she screammm at me first. now, i don't know if i should work or not. work, she scold. don't work, take money, she not happy T_T and i don't wanna leave tangy alone. god, save me!